Eleanor’s Aspirations

Last night, Grant gave a wonderful Family Home Evening lesson on learning to work (we have a lot of working/helping-clean-up type lessons around this house). He was talking to Eleanor about what she wants to be when she grows up. She has been saying for a while that when she grows up, she wants to be a doctor, an astronaut, and a mother. So Grant talked to her and asked her what things doctors, astronauts, and mothers have to do.

As they talked, they discussed how doctors work as part of their training. He also got her to describe how Mommy works around the house to keep everyone healthy and keep the place clean. So after this discussion, Grant concluded with, “So doctors have to learn to work, and to prepare to be a mommy, you have to learn to work to take care of children and the house.”

Eleanor was nodding and listening as Grant spoke.

So Grant asked, “So, if you want to be a doctor, an astronaut, and a mommy when you grow up, what do you think you need to learn to do?”

Eleanor had no hesitation. She knew the answer right away: “I have to learn to build a rocket ship!”

Happy Father’s Day

by contributing editor Grant

Since it is Father’s Day, I give myself permission to make myself sound good in this post. If you don’t agree, wait to read the blog next week and I’m sure I’ll have something more truthful, more realistic, more in character to share.

Several weeks ago, Jocelyn and the girls came to visit me at work. Jocelyn picked up a little lunch and we sat down in my office to eat. During quarters that I have several night classes a week we try to get together for lunch at least a few times.

Both Eleanor and Phaedra have visited my office ever since they were born, so, needless to say, they feel like they own the place. It doesn’t help that everyone there thinks they are super adorable (can you disagree?); nor does it help that they are both rather gregarious, confident kids. When they arrive, they walk in, say hello to everyone, help themselves to cups, and cups, and cups of water, find the candy bowls, and basically wander the place looking for anything interesting to a five or two-year-old.

On this particular lunch date, Eleanor found a pad of sticky notes and a pencil. All during lunch she sat and “wrote” note after note. She was quietly concentrating on each note, which made for a pleasant lunch for Jocelyn and me. After lunch she proceeded to wander around the office sticking the notes she “wrote” all over: on doors, my desk, file drawers, whiteboards, my dean’s door, the computers…everywhere.

As usual, the lunch hour (and a little beyond) passed far to fast, it was time to say goodbye and get back to work. As typically happens, many of my co-workers gathered to also say farewell to the girls. It finally occurred to me to ask Eleanor what she had been writing on the sticky notes. She proceeded to walk around pointing at various notes and “reading” them to me. Each note was different, but here is the general message on each note:

Daddy,

We love you! Thank you for going to work and taking care of our family. You work hard so that we have things like my toys and food. You love Eleanor, and Phaedra, and Mommy. Do good at school and drive carefully. Thank you for being our Daddy!

I nearly cried. Happy Father’s Day!

Sisters

I just love to watch these two in their moments of peace.

When no one is pestering, pushing buttons, or being territorial.

The pleasant absence of screams.

When they actually look like they just might possibly be . . . friends.

Towers

Just a typical morning with new toilet paper in the house.

We have a drawer in the bathroom where we keep extra toilet paper. I usually let the girls take the toilet paper out of the package and put it into the drawer. They love having that responsibility, and they always end up playing with the toilet paper rolls before putting them away. I’m fine with them having some fun with the toilet paper as long as they don’t do anything to pull the paper off the roll or squash them (I can’t stand it when the roll is folded and you get that “thunk, thunk, thunk” sound every time you pull off some paper). They have so much fun together. That is, unless Eleanor gets frustrated trying to give Phaedra instructions on how things should be done.

On this day, they were getting along quite well. I guess I didn’t get pictures of any of their tall towers. I think they prefer to do it when I’m not watching, as if they’re getting away with something. Once when I bought a lot of toilet paper because it was on sale, they built castles and sent their zhu-zhu pets in to cruise around within the walls.

Have you noticed a pattern with that Snow White dress? The girls got some dress-up dresses from their cousin, Grace, several months ago. We have a Cinderella one that (barely) fits Phae, and the Snow White one for Eleanor. They wear them all the time. Most days, we put the dresses over jammies in the morning, and then I take off the dresses, get them dressed, and put the dresses back on top of their clothes. I’m sure Phaedra will wear the Cinderella dress until the seams can’t hold her anymore. The only reason Phae wasn’t wearing hers that morning was because she couldn’t find it. I wouldn’t find it for her as that would undermine my I’m-not-your-maid-keep-track-of-your-own-stuff initiative. For anyone concerned, she was Cinderella again by that afternoon.

He’s the Best

I don’t often do this because it’s such a personal subject, but I have to gush about my husband. He works so hard to take care of this family. He works full time and goes to school some evenings to work on his graduate degree. Even with all that, he is completely involved in home life. He helps with dinner, plays with his kids, does dishes and house chores, and always helps get the kids to bed.

As I was leaving to go to a baby shower last night, he told me something like, “Have a good time. If a friend of yours wants to go to a movie afterward, feel free.”

“Really?” I was a bit surprised. He’s always really encouraging of me going out and having fun with friends, but movies and other things aren’t always in the budget.

“Sure, do whatever. Just have a good time,” he replied.

This type of experience when I leave the house is nothing new (the movie invitation was an added twist), but I’m always rather amazed at him. Every time I get together with the gals, there’s at least one of them who is getting urgent texts from their husband saying, “You have no idea what your child just did!” Or someone else will get a call and have to excuse herself because her husband has hit his limit with the kids. Or as the evening gets later, someone will say she’d better leave or her husband will be mad, and she wants to stay in his good graces so she can leave him with the kids another time. These situations are and have always been so foreign to me, and I have to say, I get a little warm fuzzy every time it happens knowing that my husband’s main concern is that I enjoy myself.

I have been blessed with a husband who always encourages me to get out of the house and have a little “me time” when I get the chance. It’s not because he wants to get rid of me, and it’s not because he’s under my thumb. He just genuinely cares about me and realizes that I might feel cooped up after spending so much time home with the kids. I have never had to worry whether he would be willing to watch the kids so I could go somewhere; I only have to find out if he is available.

Grant has always been pretty comfortable as a dad. He isn’t helpless when I’m away, and he loves time with his kids. Even when problems arise while I’m gone, he works through it on his own. He’ll tell me about it when I get home, but he doesn’t feel the need to pull me away from what I’m doing to ask for help. He has even had to deal with some situations I certainly would not have enjoyed (and it’s highly likely that if the situation were reversed, I would have called him to tell him about it).

Today, Grant had to go to the community college graduation for work. Last weekend, he was away from us on Saturday because he was working on a paper for class. Believe me, I griped my fair share about not having him around for the second Saturday in a row. But this morning, I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening by not mentioning it or how I felt about it. I was trying to think of how easily he let me leave last night without a complaint even though the girls gave him trouble when he put them to bed. I wasn’t as saintly as him. I didn’t send him off with a big smile, telling him to take his time and enjoy himself. And still, as he was turning to go, he acknowledged the fact that I hadn’t complained about the situation. He let me know he appreciated my attitude when he knew it was difficult for me.

Sometimes I am just astounded by how unselfish and caring he can be, and I know I am a very lucky girl who will continue to strive to deserve this wonderful man who treats me so well.

That’s a lot more mushy than I tend to blog, but I warned you I was going to gush!

More Chicks

After the first batch of chicks my mother bought, she went out of town to visit my sister and her new baby. A few weeks ago, not long after Mother was back, I told her I supposed her chicks weren’t chicks anymore if the girls wanted to see them. She confirmed that they had grown quickly and were looking more like chickens. The next day, she called me and told me that if the girls wanted to come see some chicks, she had just gone and bought 2 more. Such an obliging grandma they have! So we made sure to go visit that week and see the new baby chicks.

I guess Eleanor is getting used to me taking pictures of her with little chicks because she asked me to take her picture, as if that’s something we just naturally do every time. I’m happy to oblige any time my kids ask me to take their picture because they’re more likely to cooperate since they asked for it. This time, we used a towel as chicken poop insurance.

As soon as I was done taking Eleanor’s picture, Phaedra saw the camera and asked me to take her picture (she mostly likes being able to see the picture on the screen after I take it). She was playing with toys in the family room. But before I could get her picture, she threw a fit because her daddy offered her a cracker (but not in the way she wanted him to offer it to her—little punk!). I just went ahead and took her picture anyway.

Book Monsters

My kids have an avid love of reading, and I appreciate that, I really do. There’s just one part of their enthusiasm that gets under my skin.

My kids are book monsters. They don’t like to get out books one at a time. They have to take every book off the shelf and make piles surrounding themselves. They also have to drag bedding and animals out of their room to make themselves comfortable. This wouldn’t even be that bad if it wasn’t such a battle to get them to put the books away when they are finished. Every time they start packing books to whatever place they have chosen for their current reading location, I give them the warning that any books they take out will have to be cleaned up when they are finished. My warning is always met with promises and reassurances that, ‘of course, Mommy, we’ll be good little girls and pick up our books when we’re done.’ But when I come along later to find their abandoned book piles while they are off playing somewhere else, trying to get them to clean up the books brings about all sorts of drama.

I’ve tried limiting the number of books they are allowed to have out at a time. Usually, they either argue with me, or they wait until I’m not paying attention and sneak a bunch more books. Grant has even found them sitting on the couch, literally buried in books. He got closer to see Phaedra barely peeking out under all the books on her legs and around her as she was happily reading.

I suppose there are worse things. We’ll just have to work on the clean up.

As a side note: The chairs pictured above are some that we recently purchased. Ever since we moved into this house and realized how very large our master bedroom is, Grant has dreamed of having a couple of comfortable reading chairs and maybe a table with a lamp so he and I would have our very own reading nook in our room. The chairs were in the living room while they waited for me to clear some of my sewing clutter out of the bedroom. I wish I could say I have used the chairs more than the kids have, but I haven’t found the time yet. They are quite comfortable, though. I suppose I’m happy as long as they are being enjoyed and as long as they stay toy-free. Grant and I will sit down and read in them someday.