All About Eleanor

On a playdate at M's house, playing guitar in a dress up outfit.

Reading stories with Daddy on her first night without a binky.

The morning after. Holding her new Spot.

Reading stories with Studio Grandpa, one of her favorite things to do. It wouldn't be complete without a snack in a yogurt cup.

Making cookies for FHE.

Taking pictures.

Trying to get close to Laughing Grandma's bunny.

Sleeping in the car.

Wow! Looking over those pictures, it looks like I never do her hair. It's so unruly even when I do comb/style it. And it doesn't help our case that, given the choice, she'd rather not have it combed even if it's in her face.

This was a rough month for Eleanor. She started out with a slight cold, and as soon as she was well, we decided we were ready (whether she was or not) to get rid of her binky. That caused a certain amount of drama for a while, but things are returning to normal.

Eleanor continues to be a loving big sister. I let her start picking Phaedra up as long as a parent is close by to supervise. If Phaedra is getting into trouble (usually trying to eat electrical cords or paper), Eleanor will say, “Oh. I will get her,” as she scoops her up under the arms and carefully puts her back on the floor in a safer area. Eleanor loves to be like the grown ups who can pick Phaedra up. Phaedra doesn’t mind a bit since her older sister is showing her attention and interacting with her. She usually gets a big grin on her face as she is being moved awkwardly from one spot to another.

Eleanor’s favorite TV show is currently Martha Speaks. She likes to pretend she is Martha for several hours after the show is over.

Our music leader in church says Eleanor is her best singer, and I have heard from other people in Primary that she loves to volunteer and participate.

She’s had some trouble going to Primary this month. I think a big part of it has been the withdrawal from her binky. Another thing is that a new boy joined her Primary class, and both weeks he has been here, he has taken Eleanor’s seat where she likes to sit for sharing time. She is certainly a creature of habit. It doesn’t help the situation that both her parents are in Nursery, so it’s not like she gets taken to her parents and has to sit in a boring meeting full of adults. A bit more effort is required, but she still goes to class.

We’ve had several fun play dates this month for Eleanor to get together with friends.

She is perpetually in diapers. We’ll probably pack her bags full of them when she goes off to college.

Everything she tells you about that happened in the past, she says, "Last year . . ." She's done this for a long time. I think she actually started it around January, so her statements were mostly accurate. Now, things that happened last week are still considered last year. It's pretty funny.

She has also done this for a long time, but I'm not sure if I've ever written it down. I think it slowly materialized over last summer and became what it is currently sometime after we moved. She has a set way of giving loves and kisses at bedtime. The pattern goes like this: rubs (on the back), pat-pats, scratches, tight squeeze, and kisses. She started doing it as a stall tactic, throwing a fit when you would try to put her in bed because she had forgotten (probably intentionally) one of the important steps. It got to the point where we now recite for her each thing we know she has to do when giving loves and kisses so she won't leave any out, and of course, we tell her she only gets one chance at loves and kisses. She is such a creature of habit!

Withdrawal

I haven't been very good about blogging this month. It's been a full month.

On March 6th, Eleanor spent her first night without a binky. We had been wanting to get rid of the last one for quite some time, but she had been sick for a while. She finally had been healthy for a little while, so we knew we had to take the opportunity as soon as the weekend came. In retrospect, we maybe should have let her have a little more transition time after just moving out of her crib and into a big girl bed, but we just couldn't wait anymore.

We tried to find ways to make it easier on her. We explained that she wasn't being punished (there were times in the past when she was being difficult about going to bed that her binky would be taken away until she would cooperate). We told her it was just part of growing up. We pointed out other kids her age who don't use a binky. We explained how it is better for her mouth if she doesn't use one anymore.

Also, we got her a different comfort. When we spent so much time at Grant's parents in December when our house had no heat, Eleanor became rather attached to Alex's stuffed dog, Spot. She charmed him into letting her borrow Spot when we went home, and she had slept with him every night since then. I went out and searched to find the closest match possible to get Eleanor her very own Spot. It was a busy week, and my time to shop was limited, but I came up with a pretty close match (since then, I've seen closer, but oh well). That Friday was the same night that I went to a friend's house for a Demarle party, so Grant had Eleanor all excited about a surprise I was going to bring her when I got back. (Grant also had a wonderful surprise waiting for me when I got home, but more about that another time.) She was practically leaping when I came into the house. She opened her surprise and Grant and I pointed out it's slight resemblance to Spot. It was a hit. She said, "I have my own Spot now. I want to give the other Spot back to Alex. I don't need it anymore." She loved that her Spot had a pink collar with a paw print on it. She wanted to go give Spot back that very night, but we convinced her it would have to wait.

Somehow, maybe I was in denial, I was way too optimistic about how that first night would go. Eleanor has had some transitions that have seemed like they would be so difficult, but in reality, they ended up being no big deal. I guess I expected the binky to be the same way. Boy, was I wrong. Let's just say this about that night:

IT. WAS. NOT. PRETTY.

It started out well enough with Grant reading her stories and going to tuck her in. He layed in bed with her for a while to help her settle down. Then came the tantrums and the requests. She wanted him to stay. She wanted water. She wanted another story. She wanted another song. She wanted Mommy to lay with her. She wanted Mommy to stay longer. On and on and on. We started out patient, trying to work with her and help her through this difficult time. The evening wore on. Phaedra would get put to bed only to be rudely awakened soon after by her sisters screams. There was bargaining, threats, screaming and yelling . . . at our lowest points, Eleanor wasn't the only one doing the screaming. We finally just had to let her cry in her bed for a long time so she could wear herself out before we tried to deal with her again. She eventually went to sleep around 11:30, and she slept through the night.


Even with how difficult it was to get her to sleep, that entire time that we went the rounds with her, she never once asked for her binky. I think we had talked to her about it enough, and she had learned from the times other binkies had gone away that it was no use to ask to have it back.

The next night, she went to bed more easily, but she woke up once in the middle of the night and was very difficult to get back to bed. The first week was like that. Either we had to battle her at the beginning of the night or in the middle. She's getting better now, but every now and then she still wakes in the night. I can't wait for her to get past that part of the adjustment.

Her daytime behavior was also affected. There were times I wondered what had happened to my sweet little girl. She was frustrated. She didn't communicate as well. She was even acting out physically, swatting or kicking at her parents or objects. This is so unlike Eleanor. She has never been a very aggressive child. It made me worry that maybe we didn't take away the binky at the right time or in the right way. There was nothing I could do about the worry, though. There was no way we were going to bring it back. Her acting out lasted for almost two weeks before she seemed to come around. I was glad to see that happen.

I feel like we're pretty much on the other side of it now. Grant and I have been rounding up the hidden binkies and throwing them away. We held on to each one we took away just in case . . . but they are gone for good now. Tonight, Grant opened a cupboard, and Eleanor saw one fall out and bounce off his head. It didn't even occur to her that it was her old binky. She thought it was one of Phaedra's. Whew! I think that was the last one to get put into the trash.

At first, it was hard to celebrate. Things didn't go as smoothly as I had thought they would. But I think now I can finally feel the relief.
Hooray! The binkies are gone!!!!

Six Months Old

Last night, we were playing cards at my mother's house. Phaedra got a little too into the game. I tried to tell her that if you're going to cheat, you put the card up your sleeve. Apparently, she thought she had a better method. She waited until this morning to play the yellow 14.



I tried to get a picture of her curls she gets right after a bath. They're so fleeting because they quickly get flattened by hats or something else. And look, my finger/arm/something is making a cameo. Oops.

Six months old, and she still has those baby blues! Do you think they'll stay?

I can't believe my baby is half a year old already! She's been in such a hurry to get mobile. She started out the month with her little inchworm move. Now, she's quite efficient at an army crawl. She finally learned to roll onto her back after getting good at moving forward. The first several times, it was as if she pushed herself forward too hard with her foot and accidentally flipped onto her back. I really couldn't tell if the action was purposeful or not. Later, it was a more coordinated motion. During the past week, she's been getting up on all fours and rocking. I'm sure a full fledged crawl will be soon coming. She's just so driven. She wants in on the action when Eleanor and Daddy play. She wants to get into trouble, and is quite successful. Grant and I have been amazed at how quickly she can find paper, shoes or electrical cords when we think we've moved all out of her reach.

She's a great little eater. She loves rice cereal, usually finishing off every last bite I offer her (about 2-3 Tbs). She was slow starting with fruits and veggies. She seemed to prefer foods that were blander, such as squash. She has made a face at every fruit I have let her try, but now she's starting to like them. She is so much easier to spoon feed than Eleanor was! I remember coaxing all the way, trying to get one more bite just to have her (maybe) finish off a quarter of a jar of food. Phaedra on the other hand, as long as she isn't way too tired, will open her mouth fairly easily for each bite until she is done. When she is done, she is done. There is no way to coax her mouth open without really getting tricky or making her cry. So I don't have to wonder if I'm over feeding her. But she'll usually finish off almost a whole jar of food or more.

Unfortunately, sleep is a different story. She was a great sleeper until about four months of age when she got her second cold, started solids, and started moving around more. I don't know which one of these things did it (or maybe the combo), but our star sleeper fell from the sky. She'll sometimes let me put her to bed at the beginning of the night, only to wake again within the hour. She'll sometimes soothe back to sleep; sometimes she decides to be wide awake for an hour or more no matter how much we try to convince her otherwise. Once she goes to sleep after that, the rest of the night is a toss up. Some nights (which have become rare), she only wakes every few hours to nurse and go back to bed. Most nights, she refuses to be put back in her bed, forcing Grant (my hero) to walk with her or rock her in the chair while she sleeps. (And, yes, we know that really just perpetuates the problem, but when you're exhausted, you go for the quick fix in order to survive. If you have any other helpful suggestions, we're all ears.) We're hoping Phae will be healthy spring break so we can figure out a plan to sleep train her. I have never been good at handling crying it out, but Phaedra seems to self-soothe a little better than Eleanor did, so maybe we can come up with a plan that's a happy medium. Wish us luck.

Besides sleep issues, Phaedra is such a great baby. She's happy and easy to take places. Well, not all places. For some reason, she must have decided a while back that the best time and place to seriously poop her pants and have a huge blow-out was in the car on the way to visit Daddy at work. Luckily, now that she's been on solids for a while, we haven't had that problem as much.

But she really is a pleasant baby with plenty of personality. I put her in the middle of our bed one time to wash my hands real quick. When I came back, she had rolled onto her tummy, and as soon as I talked to her and came closer, she squealed and started inching away from me, looking back to smile as she went. I couldn't believe it. She was already playing cat and mouse with me, egging me on to play with her at a time in the evening when I usually do.

She is enthralled with Eleanor and is giddy with any hint of attention she can get from her oblivious sister. I think that's half the reason she is so driven to be mobile. She's trying to keep up with Eleanor and insist on being included in the fun.

We call her "The Maw" because she's just like a character on a game we got (an alien that eats everything in its path). There is no limit to what she can find and try to eat. But, when it comes to nicknames, Eleanor has called her "bug" or "my bug" so often when in her Wall-E roll playing, that Grant and I call her bug without even thinking anymore.

About a week ago, Phaedra started a really Mommy-clingy phase. She doesn't like me to be out of sight. She fights Daddy going to bed and calms right down for me (sometimes). I can hand her to Grant and go out of the room, and she'll whimper, watching after me. When I return, her whole face (and body) light up with elation as if she hasn't seen me in years. It can get old when I want to hand her off, but it's nice to feel like a superstar, if only in her eyes.

Eleanor at six months old. This was the first time she ever sat up on her own. Phaedra can sit up on her own for very brief periods of time before tipping over. That's probably all Eleanor could do at this time, too, we just were really excited about it.

Some Things I Forgot

I always do this. I have things rolling around in my head all month that I want to write in my All About Eleanor post, but when it comes time to write it, I draw a blank. Then, as soon as it's published, I start to remember everything I forgot to include. I'd go back and edit it to add those things, but since I posted video, I don't want to mess with it. Any time I edit a post in which I posted video, I have to re-do the html code or else the videos won't work. Does anyone else have this problem with Photobucket? Anyways, instead of writing down the things I forgot for next month like I sometimes do, I'm going to post it now.

Eleanor decided this month that she likes showers. When I take a shower, she plays on her own for a bit, and it isn't long before she's right outside my shower door, stripping her clothes off. I'm usually about ready to get out by then, so I wash her hair and then leave her to enjoy it on her own. We have one of those shower heads you can also use as a hand-held sprayer, and she likes to hold it herself on the "waterfall" setting.

She loves to wrestle, especially with her daddy. Her elbows and knees are still a little too sharp for me to stand wrestling with her for very long. Sometimes, as a treat, Grant will wrestle with her for a while before reading bedtime stories. She loves every minute of it. She's actually quite a tough little girl. She can take a hit that would normally make her wail any other time of day, but since she's having so much fun with Daddy and doesn't want it to stop, she shakes it off, saying, "I'm okay."

In the car, Eleanor is our official eye-checker for Phaedra. When I think Phae might be asleep, I ask Eleanor to look and tell me if her eyes are open or shut. As long as Eleanor isn't too cranky, she's happy to help me out by letting me know Phaedra's status.

When we got rid of the binky in the car (it has only been allowed in her bed for quite a while, and we're hoping to have it go away completely this month), Eleanor formed a new habit: gum chewing. I always have gum in the car because I don't really chew it unless I'm out and about. It's sugarless gum, so it's not bad for Eleanor, but she was starting to go through it way too fast, asking for some gum and wanting to spit it out a few minutes later, then asking for gum again the very next time we got into the car. So, I've been making an effort to get her to cut back. The other day, we were in the car, and she had already had gum once on our outing. Grant and I were refusing to give it to her again. She tried asking nicely over and over, and when she realized that wasn't working, she raised her voice to say, "I want some gum right NOW!" Grant and I just looked at each other shocked that she had that much attitude in her. In all honesty, though, it's my fault. After repeating myself time and time again, asking Eleanor to accomplish some task for me (such as getting dressed or picking up her toys) and becoming impatient with having to repeat myself so many times, I have told her to do something "right NOW," before. So she got it from me. I guess I need to speak with more respect, even when I'm impatient, or she'll think she can talk to us the same way.

She never really went through a "why" phase. She skipped right over that and asks "What's ____ for?" or "What does ____ mean?" I don't mind it. I like helping her learn . . . except that she often fills in those blanks with very obvious things, such as sandwich or funny. There are only so many times I can answer questions I know she already knows the answer to without getting tired of it. I usually ask her what she thinks it means. When she asks, "What are people for?" I tell her they're for trying to be like Jesus. Score one for Mommy!

All About Eleanor

Out for a walk.

Wall-E holding her bug.

Reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

Eleanor's hair the day after having braids. Move over, Cyndi Lauper!

Watching a show on a day she skipped a nap. They sat together contently for a long time.

This month has been full of changes for Eleanor.
Let me backtrack a little to explain that last month (or maybe it was the end of December), Eleanor had her first real nightmare. It was a really bad one. She was incoherent and screaming for quite a while and completely unwilling to go back to her bed. We finally had to let her wake up enough to become aware that she was safe. It wasn’t until then that she let us soothe her and put her back to bed. That day, she had watched the movie Bolt for the first time, which I think was a little too much for her. I can’t be sure, though. It was a busy day. I had had an emotional morning, and she had missed her nap. But, to be safe, she’s not watching that movie again until she’s twelve :)

That was somehow the beginning of a nightmare or night-fright (I’m not sure she’s always asleep when it happens) phase, because since then, she has been waking up afraid in the night from time to time. More recently, she's been saying she heard a bump or a sound that was scary. Sometimes she says the bump jumped in her bed, wiggled her bed, or moved her bed. She has even acted afraid to go to bed because of the possibility of her hearing one of these scary sounds. Daddy has taken these opportunities to demonstrate his power and authority by telling the sounds to go away and telling Eleanor they have to obey him. I have used these times to (hopefully) teach her the value of prayer by saying a prayer with her to help her feel safe.

A little over a week ago, she had one of these episodes about an hour after we had put her to bed. We were in the family room watching TV, and since Phaedra hasn’t been interested in sleep lately, she was with us, playing on the floor. We didn’t hear her at first, but when I realized she was screaming, I hurried to get to her. By the time I was in the hall, I could hear her clawing at her door! Mind you, Eleanor still sleeps in a crib, and that was the FIRST. TIME. EVER. that she got out of her crib by herself. I guess she just never had enough motivation to try it before. We had left a box next to her bed that holds her extra blankets. I think she climbed out into that, but I could be wrong. The one time she demonstrated for me, she didn’t use it.

Once she had done it, there was no reason for her to stop. Any time she woke up in the night after that, she would come wandering out of her room to find us. Grant put her in bed for a nap that Sunday, and a few minutes later, she came wandering out, saying, “I tried and tried to sleep, but I can’t.”

With this new development, the urgency increased for her to have her own bed. Grant and I both have dragged our feet on the issue since many people have told us to keep her in the crib as long as she wasn’t climbing out, because as soon as we got her a real bed, she would be in our room every night. Lately, I have been a strong advocate for getting her a bed because I want her to feel more grown up and independent. The budget and the problem of having to go out and find one have held us back. My mother was kind enough to give us my old bed that I slept on in high school (practically new).

I went out and bought a safety rail for it last Tuesday, and since the box had a picture of a bed on it, Eleanor thought it was her new bed. She kept asking me when we could get it out for her to sleep on it. So, Grant borrowed his dad’s truck on Wednesday and went to pick up her bed. It was so late when we got home that night, that we didn’t set it up until Thursday. That was her first night in it. She was so excited about it. She stayed in her room all night, and in the morning, after watching a few shows, she told me she was tired and wanted to go back to bed. She spent about a half hour playing quietly in her bed by herself. This step was so overdue for her. I feel bad it took us so long, but I’m glad she’s so excited about it and doing so well at sleeping in it.

Another change that happened this month has to do with naps. They are definitely going away. I’ve seen hints of this in the past, but I didn’t want to admit it. At first, I fought it desperately, not wanting to give up my afternoon time alone. But, I’m coming to terms with it, and for now, I think Eleanor looks at it as some sort of privilege to be awake during the time she would normally be napping, so she’s usually on her best behavior. She still takes a nap some days, but I don't count on it. We switched to "quiet time" in her bed, and that results in a nap as long as she stays put. I give her several books to look at and tell her to put them at the bottom of her bed when she is ready to sleep.

Eleanor became rather socially starved after being sick for so long last month. She perks right up the second she hears the words play date, and asks if she can have one. We managed one just before Phaedra and she became ill again (sigh). I'm trying to still get us out and about even if we can't do play dates. We've gone to the store or Grandma's or to visit Daddy at work.

Some Eleanor-isms:

• When she is about to read a book, she says the title and then says, "by Heaven Martin." I don't know how she came up with that one, but apparently, this person wrote every book in our house.
• I love the way she says the words, "That would be a good/great idea." It's as if she's been scheming some sort of trick in her head, and I just gave her the perfect solution for how to carry it out.
• Last month, she picked up the word "Whew!" For a while, she said it all the time, in all sorts of situations. It's a bit more rare now, which makes me sad because it always made me smile to hear her say it.
• With all her pretending to be someone/thing else, it all stops if she gets hurt or throws a fit. If she is currently Wall-E before getting hurt, and you say, "Come here, Wall-E." She replies with a very adamant, "I am not Wall-E. I am just Eleanor!" When she's throwing a fit, you can really get into trouble by calling her the wrong name.
• Eleanor loves to go to "Studio Grandma's and Studio Grandpa's" house (Grant's parents). She loves to watch a DVD they have of old Chip and Dale cartoons. She calls the movie (and the pair of chipmunks) "Chicken Dale." I guess she gets it from her mother who grew up watching her favorite movie, "Peach Dragon."
• After being told over and over not to say no to her parents, Eleanor is learning to differentiate between types of nos. At first, she would answer a question such as, "Is your diaper wet?" and after saying no, she would ask, "I told you no?" I would explain that it was okay for her to say no when answering a question but not when she was being disobedient. Now, she will answer no, and then ask, "That's a nice no?"

Eleanor in her big girl bed.

Reading: