My Little Helper

 

“We believe that the ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven are our children and our posterity.”

-Elder Dallin H. Oaks

This was my absolute favorite hot chocolate mug. It was handmade by my father-in-law, a one-of-a-kind. He threw the pottery himself and created the glaze (It was one he was experimenting with and wasn’t sure he liked, but I loved it). We have several mugs made by Grant’s dad in our house, but this was the only green one. It was MINE. Whenever I caught Grant using it, I would glare at him.

My favorite mug met its demise this afternoon while Curtis was helping me unload the dishwasher. He loves to help unload the dishwasher. He’s a real go-getter. He loves to feel helpful. He jumps any time there is a chance for him to help his Mommy or Daddy. I normally try not to let him help me with the top rack because he can barely reach it (I say “try” because he insists anyway, and I just rush through it, giving him little chance to help). He tends to pull down on the rack, and I’m always afraid he’ll break the dishwasher. But today I didn’t care. The girls were upstairs, leaving us alone, and I was enjoying some time with my son.

He’s been helping me unload the dishwasher for over half a year (a long time in his little lifespan). We have a pretty good rhythm for working together. He puts away anything he can reach and hands me things that go in the cupboards above. I had just finished placing something in the cupboard when I turned around and saw him pulling out my mug. He didn’t have a firm grasp on it, and I shrieked, “Noooo!” as it tumbled out of his hand. I stood there for a moment with slumped shoulders, looking sadly at the pieces of the handle on the floor. But then I looked up and saw my little boy, frozen in the spot where he stood when he dropped it.

As I took the few steps to cross the kitchen to him, I searched for words that might comfort him. By the time I reached him, it was too late. He was crying before I could wrap my arms around him. As I held him gently, he sobbed and cried out, “So-yay dop cup! So-yay dop cup!” which, in his little words means, “sorry drop cup.” My heart was so full and so broken at the same time. It was full of love for this sweet boy who felt so sorry for dropping my cup when I hadn’t even scolded him, and it was breaking for how much it hurt him to have disappointed me. I told him it was okay. I told him he was worth so much more to me than that cup, even my favorite cup. And I wished so hard he could understand what I was trying to say to him.

He cried in my arms for a while more until I shifted and pushed the dishwasher door shut to give us some more room. That reminded him of our task, and he was eager to finish. We finished together, with him handing me things more carefully than ever and with plenty of smiles. And I marveled at my son. I felt so strongly at that moment the love that I have for him, and I knew what my real treasures are on this earth. I feel blessed to have moments like these (even when they cost me my favorite irreplaceable mug) because I am reminded of what is most important in my life. My children are my most precious possessions, and I pray always that I can handle them with the proper care they need.

And he still drops things sometimes . . .

but he’s worth so much more than anything he might drop.

My Cup Runneth Over

This month, I have been trying to notice my blessings, big and small. I have lots of friends on Facebook who post every day something that makes them feel thankful. In the past, I found it a bit . . . forced—and too public for my taste. But this year, I decided to join in, knowing that focusing on the positive could only help my situation. I haven’t posted something every day because I can’t commit (ha ha), and sometimes I think of something for which I am grateful that I just don’t feel like sharing. But today, I had more on my mind than I could possibly share on Facebook.

As I sat at lunch with Phaedra and Curtis this afternoon, my heart was full. I looked from one child to the other, noticing their beautiful eyes and faces, and feeling so in love with them I could scarcely contain myself. They happily munched on mac & cheese and begged sunflower seeds and croutons off me from my salad. At that moment, I felt so full of the light of Christ. I don’t know any other way to explain it. I love those moments. I am so grateful for those moments.

Those are the moments when I don’t think about the boxes I still have to unpack, the unruly pile of shoes by our back door that are begging me to find a place to put them, the pile of dishes in the kitchen, or even the miles upon miles upon miles between us and the rest of our family. All I can think about is how blessed I am to be right there in that moment. I’m amazed by my children—how they grow and learn and love, and I am honored to be able to witness it and be a part of it. I feel the love of a hardworking husband who comes home after work and helps with dinner, pays attention to his family, and helps put kids to bed. He is concerned for our welfare, and he leads this family righteously.

For most of the day since that moment, I have been mindful of other blessings throughout the day and in my life in general.

I am grateful for my kids and how they remind me to stop and enjoy things like piles of leaves in the yard. I love how they beg me when we get home from school to spend some time raking leaves. I love how Curtis thinks he’s so important and helpful when he comes along and puts his rake in the center of our pile and pulls the leaves in the opposite direction. He hasn’t quite figured out how to get the leaves to go where we are trying to take them, but he really wants to work.

I’m so in love with those faces!

I’ve felt thankful on many occasions that our new ward is so welcoming and friendly. I’m so glad the sisters are so kind.

I’m glad we’ve been here for a month, and it has gone by quickly.

I’m glad we were able to find a place that has a good school for Eleanor.

I’m am so grateful that the snow from Monday has melted! Watching that snow fall down and start sticking on the ground made me the worst kind of homesick I’ve been since we got here. It’s going to take me time and lots more warm clothing before I will be able to embrace winters here. I think I’m going to have to buy lots of thermals to wear under my clothes. And warm hats!

I’m grateful for the love of my family and for the connections I’m still able to have with them and my faraway friends.

But mostly, I’m grateful for moments like the one I had at lunch when I can stop and realize the great bounty that I have.

Happy Halloween!

We had a fantastic Halloween.

Even though we went to a community Halloween party 2 weeks ago and a church party last week (both of which gave the kids candy), Eleanor started begging early this week to go trick-or-treating. She said we NEVER let her go trick-or-treating. That was partially true. We usually just did the church trunk-or-treat and called it good. One year, we did go to a few neighbor’s houses, but mostly to stop by and show off the kids on our way to trunk-or-treat. Grant would be out of town for his doctorate class this year, so it would just be me and the kids in our neighborhood where I’ve only met a few people. I told her I’d think about it.

But on Wednesday, it started raining cats and dogs and wasn’t showing signs of stopping. There was a pause early in the day on Thursday that had me wondering, but by the afternoon, it was pouring again. I sat down with the kids to talk about our evening. I told them I was going to take them trick-or-treating, but it was just raining too hard. So as an alternative, we were going to have a movie night. They could dress up in their costumes if they wanted to, and they could help me give candy to trick-or-treaters. I would give them candy, and we could have waffles for dinner (they love when we have breakfast for dinner because I don’t like breakfast for dinner—so it’s rare).

They were happy with that as an alternative, so they ran off to put on their costumes. I couldn’t find Curtis’s costume, so I went out to the car to see if we left it there after the church party. When I was outside, I realized the rain was letting up, barely even sprinkling, and it wasn’t that cold. I thought about taking the kids, but I really didn’t trust that it would stay raining that softly. And I really didn’t want us all getting wet. Once I was back inside and all the kids had their costumes on, we had some trick-or-treaters come to the door. After they left, I looked outside and realized it wasn’t raining anymore at all. I looked at the sky and could even see some hints of the setting sun behind the clouds.

Of all the holidays to have a miracle!

I decided it was our only chance. I asked the kids if they wanted to go, even if it would just be a few houses, and we had to come back if it started to rain again. They were ecstatic! Phaedra was so hyper she could barely get her shoes on. She didn’t want to wear a jacket, and I didn’t even make her. I put Curtis in the stroller, and my little mermaid, Rapunzel, and monster and I were on our way.

We basically just went around the block. The kids had a great time. We got to meet a few of our neighbors. People thought Curtis was adorable. He would sit in the stroller, and if he got worried they wouldn’t notice his bag, he’d start saying, “Trick or treat! Peease!” over and over. So many houses had stairs to get to the door that I just unbuckled him so he could get in and out of the stroller once we reached any stairs. A family who had just given us candy said, “Have fun,” as we were leaving. They all thought it was the cutest thing when Curtis echoed it back to them. His little voice really is adorable, and I love to hear all the words he says. I need to try to get a video of him saying “trick-or-treat” and “Happy Halloween.”

The girls were happy and cooperative. They were singing my praises the whole night through, especially Eleanor. “Thank you, Mommy, SO much for letting us go trick-or-treating!” And by the time I started talking to them about heading back home to eat dinner, they were ready to head back too. I didn’t get any arguments. It never did rain until we were headed home, and even then it barely sprinkled. The most wet we got was when the wind blew the water off the trees.

I let the kids watch some of the movie while I made dinner, and then we ate waffles and sausage patties. It cracks me up when I make a simple, easy dinner like that, and the kids say stuff like, “This is the best dinner I’ve ever tasted!” I tried not to take it as an insult to my more laborious meals at which they turn up their noses. Mostly I just sat back and enjoyed my kids being so happy all at the same time.

It was such a wonderful night. I know we made some good memories together, and that makes me so happy. Plus, all the trick-or-treaters had gone home by the time we got home, so I ended up with a bunch of twizzlers and jolly ranchers leftover that I’ve been trading the kids for all of their chocolate!!

The other good thing about the night was that it eased some of my fears to go out around the neighborhood. Having Grant leave right before Halloween in a new town made me really nervous. I had all sorts of fears playing out in my mind about things that could happen. But when I got out and saw the people who live around me, I felt much more comfortable. I even saw a police car drive by our house once. And all activity pretty much stopped as soon as it got dark. By the time we headed home a little after dark, I realized we were pretty much the only people still out. No hooligans would be staying out trouble-making in our neighborhood.

It might sound silly, but I really think we were blessed to have a good Halloween while Grant was gone. I don’t think it was coincidence that the rain stopped right at the time my kids went and got their costumes on. And I don’t think I was lucky to have kids begging me to trick-or-treat so I could feel more comfortable in my neighborhood. I think I was blessed. I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and is watching out for me, and I really believe the night we had was a wonderful answer to my prayers.