Pregnancy Questions

There are several questions you hear pretty often when people know you're pregnant. I don't think I noticed it as much the first time around as I have with this pregnancy. People and their curiosity are funny. I don't want to give off the impression that I'm annoyed by the questions people ask me. I just find it interesting what questions are asked the most and under what circumstances the questions are asked.


First off, there is the constant: How are you feeling?


You hear this one all throughout your pregnancy, from all kinds of people. For me, it never gets old. I like that people show more concern when someone is pregnant, even if I answer that question several times a day. Plus, when you start to show, you have a physical reminder to people to ask you how you're doing, so you hear this question even more. I always feel like I don't have much to report when I'm asked this question. But, in this case, I think it's better to not have an interesting answer. I'd much rather repeat, "I feel great," than talk about swelling ankles, early contractions, high blood pressure, or any of the other many complications that can come with pregnancy. I'm counting my blessings to have a healthy baby and a fairly easy pregnancy.


The other main repeated questions seem to go in stages throughout the pregnancy.

Question #1: Are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl?

This is the first question that came up with most people. It's kind of funny how just the news of us expecting another child isn't quite enough. These days, people want specifics. That's not to say that I'm not one of them. I admit I feel a twinge of disappointment whenever a friend tells me they are waiting to find out the gender of the baby. You mean I have to wait 4 extra months?! Oh the torture! Some asked if we already knew if it was a boy or a girl. A few even asked this immediately after finding out I was even pregnant. You would think that with ultrasounds being so common these days, people would know you have to wait until later in the pregnancy. I wanted to say, "Umm. . . my baby's the size of a thumbprint. No, of course I don't know what gender it is yet!" But I never said that.

So, when the much-awaited day finally came and we were able to have our ultrasound that would reveal the gender of our child, I looked forward to satisfying the throng of people who were anxious to know. Surely they could relax, finally knowing the answer to the burning question. But the answer to that question only brought on another question.


Question #2: Have you thought of any names?


Step aside, question #1, you have a replacement. Okay, it's another girl. What will you name her? Names are tough. A name has to fit a person their entire life. I tend to shy away from overly popular names. I also don't like names that could be a boy's name or a girl's name. I'm more than a bit saddened by all the great boys' names that have been stolen for girls. Once it's been used as a girl's name, there's no going back. Boys' names are being depleted like crazy because of this! I know I'm silly to gripe about this since I don't need to worry about a boy's name right now, but still! Can I get an amen?


Back to the subject at hand. I don't like sharing possibilities for baby's names with other people. It's hard enough for Grant and I to come up with a name that sounds good to both of us and feels like it will fit our baby. I don't need to run it by other people and give them a chance to weigh in on the subject! If I'm not completely decided about a name and so-and-so says they hate it, while I'm trying to make my decision, that will always be ringing in my head. I try not to be a person who cares too much what other people think, but I do tend to try to please everyone. It's just too much input on an already difficult decision! That's why I like to keep it between Grant and myself until we're sure our minds are made up. . . relatively. I have such a hard time committing that even once we decided to name Eleanor, I kept telling people the clause of "unless she's born and totally doesn't seem like an Eleanor."


There's also the issue of name thieves. If you tell people a name or a couple of names you're considering, you haven't staked a definite claim. You're still just tossing things around. So, if you happen to mention a name that has never occurred to them that they really like, that name is still fair game. They could be pregnant and due before me and take the name. Or, they might know someone who is pregnant and suggest it to them. Thus, creating more children with that same name and turning a once unique name into the latest fad. Or even if it didn't turn out to be the name you wanted to use for the baby, it could be a name you like enough to want to hold onto for the next baby. But, if someone takes it in the time in between, well, then it's just used. That's not to say that I flatter myself that I have such great taste in baby names that everyone will want to be just like me. You just never know. There are no "dibs" when it comes to names.

If you wait to tell people the baby's name until you've made up your mind, people are less likely to tell you if they think the name is atrocious. It's more of a done deal, so they want to be polite. Plus, people know you're going to use that name, so even if the baby isn't born yet, the name is pretty much claimed for your baby.

So where are we on the road to naming our baby? Well, here's the deal. Grant thinks that as far as he is concerned, the name is chosen. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's a name that started out as my idea back when we were tossing out ideas. Since then, Grant decided he loves it and it's the name for our baby. I go back and forth (back to the issue that I can't commit to a name). I love it most days, but it's just so hard to know for sure if that's the name I want to call my child for their entire life. But, when I think about coming up with another name, I'm stumped. Nothing comes to mind, and I would have to find something that Grant could somehow love more than the current name. So, I'm basically this. . . close to deciding once and for all that we'll just go ahead and use that name for sure. Hey, if I decide I don't really like it as much down the road, maybe I'll just shrug it off as the child I let Grant name :)

Here's the real question that's been floating around in my mind. A friend of mine waited until her baby was born to reveal the name to family and friends, keeping it a surprise. I like surprises. I thought that could be fun. Although my friend named her baby after a much loved family member, and this name is just one we found and liked. On the other hand, Grant has been anxious to share the name with others ever since he declared that tootsie #2's name was decided. As a result of that and a moment of weakness on my part, there are actually 4 people who already know what name was our possible top choice. So, what do the rest of you think? Should we zip our lips until the baby is born, and keep it a surprise (hoping of course, the 4 who already know stick to secrecy)? Or, as soon as I get my act together and decide to make that commitment, spread the word? What do you think? I'm going to create a poll so you can weigh in on the subject as you please.

Oh, and as far as a common question for the end stages of pregnancy, I don't know yet for this time around. Going off of memory, I'd have to say the most common question was more of a statement: I'll bet you're ready to be done/ for that baby to be here/ to pop. (There are variations on the same theme.) These statements were inaccurate in relation to me because, in spite of the awkwardness of my size, I enjoyed being pregnant, and I remained pretty nervous about becoming a parent right up until. . . well, I guess it's starting to wear off by now.