Bedtime Now

by contributing editor Grant

I can’t sing. I’m not opposed to it, I don’t avoid it. I just literally can’t sing. One of my biggest fears is that one of my daughters will inherit my singing voice—I think Jocelyn has that fear too, so, naturally, Jocelyn (a choral singer from a prestigious college choir) has taken the responsibility for singing to our children at bedtime.

The singing exclusivity clause, unwritten but understood in our household, has caused some situations on evenings when Jocelyn is gone and I put the girls to bed:

“Sing Baby Mine, Daddy”

“Baby mine don’t you…”

“No, that’s not how Mommy sings it…”

Fade to an increasingly heated exchange, another attempt at the song (oh, did I mention I have a great memory for everything except song lyrics?), a crying child or two, and then to black.

Finally, my years of college paid off, I tried a different tactic and played to my strengths. I invented two songs, one for each girl. The tune is simple, and something similar to baby songs you hear your whole life. But, the killer is that the words are different every night, and that is how the songs are billed. I told the girls that the song was supposed to be different each night. As long as I put their name (or the name of the dog or other character they are currently playing) into the song, they love it. For me, I no longer have to remember the words, or the tune for that matter, I just croak and they go to bed. Ah, the other selling point. Unlike Jocelyn’s repertoire, with set lyrics and tune, I can customize my bed time songs to take less than 30 seconds when needed.

Based on the above introduction, you should not be surprised by what comes next. Last night, Eleanor decided to take a stab at writing a bedtime song herself. I have to say, her talent has shamed me.

She composed the song while we waited for Phaedra to finish brushing her teeth. As she taught it to me, I kept missing words here and there, so she would correct me. Finally I ran and got a piece of paper so that I could get it word for word.

Without further adieu, I present for the first time on a computer screen near you:

‘Bedtime Now’

by Eleanor

The bells on the clock say “Ding-a-ling-a-ling.”
Telling us its bedtime now.

The dogs rush to their beds,
The people all rush to their beds,
so they can sleep, right now.

And, that is why this is great!
Goodnight!