Course Change

“Realize when you are asked to sacrifice that Heavenly Father wants to give you something better.”

-Elder F. Enzio Busche

It’s no secret that I have struggled while living here in Chicagoland. It’s hard being so far from friends and family, and the frigid, snowy winters haven’t helped my moods much. But I’m afraid I’ve been too vocal in my complaints and haven’t said enough about the things/people I enjoy around here. I think the reason for this is because I have been too busy enjoying to stop and write about it, but when things get hard, it helps to “get it out” somewhere. I haven’t been consistent about blogging; it’s so hard to keep up. I don’t feel like my blog has accurately reflected our experience. There is good here. We have had happy times along with the struggles. And it has been a grand adventure.

And just when I’m getting used to this adventure, just when I’ve convinced myself that I can be patient—find ways to enjoy another year, maybe two, in this home we’ve made for ourselves—our adventure here comes to a close. Time for a new adventure, a new chapter, a change of course.

I was not prepared. I’ve spent so much time working (sometimes working so hard) on being happy here, on accepting our reality, on blooming where I was planted . . . that I didn’t even know what to do with myself when Grant told me we could move on.

For those of you who don’t know, Grant applied for a job as a Dean at Lane Community College in Eugene, Oregon. He went for an interview in the middle of October. When we didn’t hear anything after a week . . . two weeks . . . I shook it off and got busy trying to embrace another winter here. I even started reading up on the Danish concept of “hygge,” and told myself I could learn to love the winters here. I was in the zone. I imagined us as crossing monkey bars—we could let go of one job hope just as we reached out to grasp the hope for another one. I would just go from hope to hope and try to enjoy the space between.

And just when I was comfortable with that idea, Grant called and told me they offered him the job. I was so stunned. I think that’s the most speechless I’ve been in a long time. I was at our favorite library with Curtis and Cecilia when Grant called. When I got off the phone, I had to go apologize to the librarians with tears streaming down my face because Curtis had tattled on me for taking a phone call. So the first people I told were the librarians in the children’s section, some of my best friends who have no idea they’re my best friends. One of them, “Miss Julie,” even gave me a hug.

While it was all sinking in, I had no idea what to say or what to do. I was just so filled with surprise and disbelief! We had assumed Grant was out of the running, but he was their top choice. They just took their time to tell us so

After much talking, praying, and fasting about the decision, Grant and I decided we would be foolish to pass up this opportunity. Grant accepted the position last Tuesday.

I have felt really overwhelmed about the move across country—again! It feels much like going into labor and childbirth before amnesia from the last time has been able to take effect. At first, I wanted to put my head between my knees and breathe into a brown paper bag . . . for a day or two. There are so many variables and so many questions of what we will do! But I’ve had a chance to start some research this week, and things are slowly falling into place. Every question answered (or even a step closer to being answered) has brought me comfort.

I’m getting used to the idea of going back to Oregon, and as I get used to it, I get more and more excited. This will be a good thing. We can be in one place for a longer time this time. We can put down some roots. We can be with family. Grant’s career can progress.

I always thought of coming here as the sacrifice we had to make to further Grant’s career. But now it feels a bit like leaving here is the sacrifice we will make to move on to better things. I am so grateful for the time we were able to spend here, and I know there are good things to come.