Withdrawal

I haven't been very good about blogging this month. It's been a full month.

On March 6th, Eleanor spent her first night without a binky. We had been wanting to get rid of the last one for quite some time, but she had been sick for a while. She finally had been healthy for a little while, so we knew we had to take the opportunity as soon as the weekend came. In retrospect, we maybe should have let her have a little more transition time after just moving out of her crib and into a big girl bed, but we just couldn't wait anymore.

We tried to find ways to make it easier on her. We explained that she wasn't being punished (there were times in the past when she was being difficult about going to bed that her binky would be taken away until she would cooperate). We told her it was just part of growing up. We pointed out other kids her age who don't use a binky. We explained how it is better for her mouth if she doesn't use one anymore.

Also, we got her a different comfort. When we spent so much time at Grant's parents in December when our house had no heat, Eleanor became rather attached to Alex's stuffed dog, Spot. She charmed him into letting her borrow Spot when we went home, and she had slept with him every night since then. I went out and searched to find the closest match possible to get Eleanor her very own Spot. It was a busy week, and my time to shop was limited, but I came up with a pretty close match (since then, I've seen closer, but oh well). That Friday was the same night that I went to a friend's house for a Demarle party, so Grant had Eleanor all excited about a surprise I was going to bring her when I got back. (Grant also had a wonderful surprise waiting for me when I got home, but more about that another time.) She was practically leaping when I came into the house. She opened her surprise and Grant and I pointed out it's slight resemblance to Spot. It was a hit. She said, "I have my own Spot now. I want to give the other Spot back to Alex. I don't need it anymore." She loved that her Spot had a pink collar with a paw print on it. She wanted to go give Spot back that very night, but we convinced her it would have to wait.

Somehow, maybe I was in denial, I was way too optimistic about how that first night would go. Eleanor has had some transitions that have seemed like they would be so difficult, but in reality, they ended up being no big deal. I guess I expected the binky to be the same way. Boy, was I wrong. Let's just say this about that night:

IT. WAS. NOT. PRETTY.

It started out well enough with Grant reading her stories and going to tuck her in. He layed in bed with her for a while to help her settle down. Then came the tantrums and the requests. She wanted him to stay. She wanted water. She wanted another story. She wanted another song. She wanted Mommy to lay with her. She wanted Mommy to stay longer. On and on and on. We started out patient, trying to work with her and help her through this difficult time. The evening wore on. Phaedra would get put to bed only to be rudely awakened soon after by her sisters screams. There was bargaining, threats, screaming and yelling . . . at our lowest points, Eleanor wasn't the only one doing the screaming. We finally just had to let her cry in her bed for a long time so she could wear herself out before we tried to deal with her again. She eventually went to sleep around 11:30, and she slept through the night.


Even with how difficult it was to get her to sleep, that entire time that we went the rounds with her, she never once asked for her binky. I think we had talked to her about it enough, and she had learned from the times other binkies had gone away that it was no use to ask to have it back.

The next night, she went to bed more easily, but she woke up once in the middle of the night and was very difficult to get back to bed. The first week was like that. Either we had to battle her at the beginning of the night or in the middle. She's getting better now, but every now and then she still wakes in the night. I can't wait for her to get past that part of the adjustment.

Her daytime behavior was also affected. There were times I wondered what had happened to my sweet little girl. She was frustrated. She didn't communicate as well. She was even acting out physically, swatting or kicking at her parents or objects. This is so unlike Eleanor. She has never been a very aggressive child. It made me worry that maybe we didn't take away the binky at the right time or in the right way. There was nothing I could do about the worry, though. There was no way we were going to bring it back. Her acting out lasted for almost two weeks before she seemed to come around. I was glad to see that happen.

I feel like we're pretty much on the other side of it now. Grant and I have been rounding up the hidden binkies and throwing them away. We held on to each one we took away just in case . . . but they are gone for good now. Tonight, Grant opened a cupboard, and Eleanor saw one fall out and bounce off his head. It didn't even occur to her that it was her old binky. She thought it was one of Phaedra's. Whew! I think that was the last one to get put into the trash.

At first, it was hard to celebrate. Things didn't go as smoothly as I had thought they would. But I think now I can finally feel the relief.
Hooray! The binkies are gone!!!!