Blogger’s Block

There are many things working against my ability to blog lately. I’m overwhelmed about just about everything but mostly getting all my assignments done by the end of my photography class. My computer is driving me crazy. I’m still waiting for a replacement that should hopefully be here in a week or two. Until then, I get to see everything over-saturated. I look at old baby pictures of Phaedra, and I just know her cheeks weren’t that rosy. It’s really frustrating with current pictures I’ve taken; since I haven’t seen them on a computer before, I’m not sure how they’re supposed to look. I don’t know if the picture looks bad because of my monitor or because of how I took the picture. Because of that, I’m really in no mood to post pictures. I don’t want to edit them until they look good to me only to have them look horrible to everyone else, and I don’t want to post them as they are and hope they don’t look awful on other screens. I’m picky like that.

Besides the appearance of the pictures, I have so many files I’m dealing with right now! I’m taking tons of pictures for my class, and not nearly as many around home (I’m all pictured-out lately). I need to sort through them, get rid of photos I never intend to keep, create back-ups for the ones I do want to keep, and figure out some sort of system for all my different file types I’m using now. Plus, since my computer keeps overheating, I think it has corrupted some of my programs. When I download photos using Bridge, it misses some. I have to go back and search for individual files that were missed. So, I’m kind of waiting for our new computer to get here so I can download pictures all over again and then start archiving. What a mess!

This week’s assignment is portraits. Any volunteers? I took a bunch of pictures of my brother-in-law on the weekend. We were fighting the clock, trying to get what we could before dark, but I think I got some good ones. Want to know what really breaks my heart? I didn’t realize it until we were home that night and the kids were in bed –yeah, it took me that long to catch on . . . The last time I used my camera before that was in class. We were doing studio portraits in a dark room with only studio lights. Long story short-ish, I knew the pictures on Sat. looked a bit off, but couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Finally, that night, I realized I never adjusted my ISO for the setting. It had been set at 1600 the whole time! So much for crisp detail without noise! You would think after this many weeks in a photography class, I would have remembered the FIRST thing you adjust is your ISO!! Can you say, “Do over?” I must have been a bit nervous. I was not only trying to get some photos for my class assignment but also for his senior photos since he’s graduating this year. That turned up the pressure a bit. But I must say, he was such a willing, cooperative subject compared to my wiggly little girls who never want to look at the camera. I’m sure I can still do something with the photos I got. I just haven’t looked at them again since my realization. I’ve been playing catch up instead, and maybe I can fix them up when I’m at the lab where I can actually view my photos as they actually appear. I just wish they were amazing to begin with instead of having to be touched up to make up for my mistakes.

I was going to take a few of the girls because I’m allowed to use more than one subject, but Phaedra is sick (again). The rainy weather is back, which puts a damper on outdoor shots –literally. I might not even try for more. I’m feeling especially fragile and wimpy this week.

I know I missed the girls’ monthly updates, and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve been so busy. Plus, there’s the picture issue. I hate to post those without pictures. I just keep thinking I can catch up on things when I don’t have to worry about this class or computer issues. I know it’s pitiful that one little class throws me off so much, but I’m such a perfectionist. I don’t want to do the bare minimum. It has to be something with which I can be satisfied before I feel okay about turning it in. I hate being behind. There’s a reason I’ve had college nightmares sporadically ever since I graduated. They’re always along the same theme: I’m way behind in a class, I’ve been enrolled in a class but never bothered to go until the end and realize I have no clue what it’s about, I’m about to take a final for which I haven’t studied or done the homework. Most of the dreams have me picking up in a class half way through when I didn’t even know I was supposed to be attending or doing homework, and I’m behind and clueless. I hate those dreams.

I have really enjoyed taking the class, and I’m so glad I’ve learned so much. I’m just ready to go back to life as usual. I’m a usual type of gal. Just ask Grant.