No Qualms

We’ve been having some rare, off-and-on sunshine this week. On Tuesday, I let Phaedra go outside and enjoy playing while Curtis napped (which is really the best time to let her go out if I don’t want him crying at the back door the whole time). She was playing around in the sandbox when she started hollering at me about something she found. I think she was calling it her “squishy friend.” I came out to look, and saw this:

I think my response was something like, “Ewww! A slimy slug!”

That didn’t bother her a bit. She declared that it was so cute, and she proceeded to talk and coo to it the same way she does to Curtis sometimes.

I told her I was pretty sure it was dead. She agreed with me, but she kept on talking to it lovingly.

She loves anything creepy and crawly. She chooses books about spiders at the library.

Maybe she’s socially starved. I’ve got to get this girl a play date.

Phaedra and I have been at odds this week. She’s going through a phase where she just doesn’t obey a thing I tell her. I’ll tell her to stop doing something; she’ll do it one or two more times before she stops. I have to tell her over and over to get her to do something. She does things she knows are against the rules . . .

She’s been pushing my buttons.

She came into my room yesterday morning right after I hit the snooze button for the last time I was going to hit it that morning. I asked her to go to the family room and wait for me; I would be out in a few minutes. She told me no, she wanted to snuggle me, and she proceeded to climb into my bed next to me. Knowing she likes time to be close to Mommy, I tried to put up with it, but her little feet started dancing all around on my back no matter how many times I tried to tell her to hold still. That was the last straw. I had had it! I was so sick and tired of her ignoring me to do what she wanted to do.

I told Grant he had to do something with his child. He talked to her (WAY more calmly than I wanted him to). Before he was out of the house for work, she was already doing something that isn’t allowed. I told him it might be better for her survival if she went with him. Of course, that wasn’t an option, so I was stuck with her.

Around lunch time, Grant showed up. He knew just what we needed. He could tell that Phaedra was acting up because she was feeling that middle child feeling of not getting the attention she needed. She and I needed some positive time together. Grant stayed home with Curtis while I got to take Phae out to lunch. She was so excited and happy. I was so happy to see her in a good mood and to be able to focus only on her for a while.

She sang me a song that went something like this:

I love Mommy and going to lunch with Mommy.

And Daddy isn’t here, but I love him too.

And I love my sister Eleanor

And my baby brother.

And that’s all that I love!

(pause)

But I love one other thing, and that’s candy and my grandmas

And I even love Grandma Mills, even though she is dead.

She told me that was her love song. We had a great time. We both ate burgers and fries, and she got a chocolate milkshake. I even got her a kid’s meal so she could be excited about the toy. She told me her heart was happy. She kept putting her arm around me and kissing my cheek while we ate. We went home feeling spoiled and pleasant.

For me, the feeling lasted a long time. For Phaedra, I think it might have worn off a bit by the time we picked up Eleanor from school. It made me realize I need to figure out a way to focus my attention on her more during the day, even with Curtis around. I’m so grateful I have a husband who is an attentive father and finds ways to help me when I’m losing steam with the kids.

And I’m grateful for Phaedra, even if she loves dead slugs. She keeps spunk in my life. And she’s always good for a snuggle.

(She likes it when I take pictures of her with her toys.)