I’m Trying to be a Big Girl

I’ve had the desire lately to feel a little more feminine. I’m not sure exactly what brought this on, but I just want a few things to help me feel like I’m breaking out of the frump now and then. I got this cute brown skirt, but I wasn’t sure if the brown shoes I have would work with it. The skirt is a medium brown, and my shoes are quite dark brown. I’m sure it wouldn’t be breaking a major fashion rule (okay, so I’m not sure. I know nothing about fashion. Feel free to fill me in!), but I just didn’t think they worked well together. As a result, I’ve had my eye out for some lighter brown shoes. And here’s where it gets interesting: I decided I might like to try something with a little heel to it. My desire to feel feminine combined with something I heard about heels enhancing . . . a woman’s body . . . ahem, just got me too curious if I could pull it off.

Since I love blathering about myself lately, let me tell you a little about my history with high heeled shoes. During my life, I have had one pair of high heeled shoes. I also had some platform-like sandals, but they were short-lived. I’m 5’8” and I always had a hard time coming across guys my height or taller, so I wasn’t about to increase the difference by wearing high heels. I bought that one and only pair of heels after a break up with one of the few guys I dated who actually was taller than me. He always wanted me to wear heels, so after he broke up with me, I ran out and bought some as an in-your-face gesture of “You just made a big mistake, mister.” I was SO mature. The next Sunday, I strutted past him as I walked into church wearing those heels, trying desperately not to wobble or break an ankle and hoping no one could tell how much I was sweating. And guess who I sat with that Sunday? My best friends, Haley and Grant. I only wore them a few times after that, and then they totally went out of style. Actually, I don’t know if they ever were in style. After that, I married my sweetie who is 3 inches shorter than me and drove the final nail into the coffin of my high heel wearing life.

Once the desire had risen from the dead, I started looking around. I didn’t like much of anything I saw. Everything is sandals right now, and I’m really not impressed with the sandals this year with their strappy Nephite look about them. Anyways, Grant took me shopping for Mother’s Day on Saturday, and I found these:

What do you think? Really, I want to know, because I’m not an experienced shoe shopper. At 3.5” they’re a much higher heel than I intended to get. I was going to ease into it with a 2.5” or something, but these are the only ones I found and liked. Well, it was between these and another pair that had a little less height, but these were more casual and summery. Plus, the other ones were a rather dark brown, which brings me back to that skirt . . . and I’m sure you’ll probably all tell me it doesn’t matter what shade of brown, but I don’t know these things. Feel free to tell me, though. I’d like to learn.

The nice thing about these is the fact that they’re a wedge, so I wobble a lot less. I have no idea how to walk in heels. When I put them on, I still feel like a little girl, putting on my grandma’s shoes and clomping around the house, except now they fit my foot. Do people wearing heels still walk heel-toe, or do they just put down the whole foot at once? And how do you walk on grass? Do you just avoid it at all costs? While at the store, I almost talked myself out of buying anything several times. You can ask Grant; he was getting a little irritated. But we bought them, and I wore them on Sunday, so I guess there’s no returning them. Wish me luck. I hope I don’t fall flat on my face or break an ankle.

As for my not-so-tall-as-me husband, don’t worry about him. He can take it. He’s a man. He loves me whether I’m fat, skinny, short, or towering half a foot above him. And I love him, too. We’re like Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise . . . minus the good looks . . . and the divorce.